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GALLERY
Lest we forget... remembering those memorable and not-so-memorable stories, jokes, videos and pics from around the world!
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You know when you've been in Belgium too long when ...
1. You always stop your car for traffic from even the tiniest little road from the right.
2. You consider breaking the speed limit normal, and honk and flash at people who don't.
3. If you have had less than 10 beers you drive your car home, but you still don't indicate when turning or respect the speed limit.
4. If you have a car, you consider any other means of transportation slightly suspicious.
5. You know the names of at least 10 different sauces for chips.
6. You catch yourself ordering a "Supplement Frites" with every single dish you have in any kind of restaurant.
7. You give other foreigners lectures on the difference between fake and real monastery-produced beer.
8. You don't drink the last two centilitres of a Westmalle trippel.
9. You never wear any colour brighter than dark green. You automatically assume anyone who does is either:
a. Dutch
b. Scandinavian
c. American or
d. Extremely childish or rude
10. Just one day without rain even in July and August can make you happy.
11. On Saturday morning and Sunday evening of any sunny summer-weekend you accept spending more than three hours stuck in traffic jams on motorways in order to get to and from 100 km's of coastline that are completely cramped with high-risers 20 meters from the beach.
12. You don't mind that bouncers have to be given at least 20 francs when you leave a disco as a bribe for letting you get in next time
13. You consider it normal that even the train to and from the airport has announcements in both Dutch and French, but not in English. You don't react when all the foreigners storm out of the train at the announcement of Brussels North when coming from the airport.
14. You do all your grocery shopping in either GB or Delhaize, and you don't understand anyone who shops in the other supermarket chain.
15. You consider it normal to go out to a restaurant at least five times per week.
16. You think it is logical that shops are closed Sundays and evenings, but buy the booze you consume in night-shops between 4 and 5 AM Sunday morning.
17. You use and understand abbreviations like NMBS/SNCB, MIVB/STIB and SMAP/OMOB.
18. You only buy the most up-market chocolate brands, and feel sorry for the geeks who buy "white products".
19. You start going to Quick instead of McDonalds and you have actually tasted the Quick Bearnaise Burger.
20. You think it looks nice when the type of pavement tiles in front of each house are different, and you don't mind falling over lopsided tiles occasionally.
21. You take dog-shit on the pavement as just another challenge on you daily walks.
22. You keep three colours of bin-bags for different kinds of waste, and remember which days to put out which kind of bag on the pavement in front of your house.
23. You don't mind when most streets are full of bags that have been put out on the wrong day, not even in the summer when the combination of the sun and intrepid dogs makes it a very interesting experience.
24. You automatically assume that everyone else speaks at least three languages, but refuse to speak more than one yourself.
25. You have given up on any sensible political discussion on the language divide in general and the Brussels Capital Region and the future of Belgium in particular.
26. You consider politicians and the police worse than criminals, with the possible exception of paedophiles.
27. You consider it perfectly normal when the names of towns on road signs change from French to Dutch and vice versa every 5 or 10 kilometres of motorway.
28. You have understood that the hassle of monthly visits to the municipality to obtain papers or residence permits is reserved for recently arrived foreigners who move every 6 months, and you therefore don't complain over your own annual visit where you wait in line for an hour or two.
HUMOR
HUMOR
Did You Know..
The Eternal Moon Walk - A Tribute to Michael Jackson!
Studio Brussel , a publicly funded radio station in Belgium also known at StuBru, has created a very unique website as a tribute to Michael Jackson .
Eternal moonwalk by Studio Brussel & Group94 is a tribute to Michael Jackson showcasing a never-ending line of videos with people from all over the world performing the famous moonwalk.
A neat little site where you can upload your own moonwalk video into an eternal wall of moonwalks, kicked off by a video of Michael doing his moon walk. Check it out!! (ckick on the pic)
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BEACHED WHALE OR NOT?
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The coastal city of Ostend (Belgium ) came up with a very original idea on the first day of the holiday season to attract tourists.
Together with a Belgium artist they came up with the plan to build a fake whale and to pretend it was beached on the coastline.
A member of the Belgium marine life was giving information how the poor animal got too close to shore and suffocated by his own weight .
The artist smeared his "creation " with dead fish and fish guts to make the stench lifelike.
All people admiring the beached giant were fooled until the Belgium TV broadcasted live from the beach and revealed the true cause of the event .
Some of the whale admirers were not amused at all considering they drove for 2 hours in dense traffic and 27 degrees temp to get there! - July 2009
Brussels, Belgium (AHN) -- Soaring metal prices have resulted in a rash of drain cover thefts in Charleroi, Belgium.
A city official says about 70 cast iron sewer lids have disappeared since last Thursday. Philippe Goffaux, a Charleroi police chief, tells Reuters, "It's not the Glasgow-London train robbery of course but it poses serious threats to people and we take it seriously." He says a 40 kg sewer cover can fetch about 6 euros on the black market. Goffaux says, "We put pressure on resellers of metals in the region and warned them they will be prosecuted if they are found with lid covers." - Aug 07, 2006
MAN WHO TATOOED GIRL WITH 56 STARS WHEN SHE ONLY ASKED FOR 3 (Girl admits lying)
UNIEK HOTEL IN VOORMALIG MECHELSE KERK
The hotel chain Martin's Hotel opened a one-of-a-kind hotel that was formerly a church! The church with the adjoining convent was sold by the Minorfriars in 1999. The convent was reconstructed by the Mechelse construction firm IBO in to living quarters and offices, the convent garden became a litle citypark. In the church it was originally planned to construct offices until a hotel came up as an alternative possibility.
A teenage girl who claimed 56 stars were tattooed on her on her face as she slept when she asked for three has admitted she was awake the whole time – and lied because her father was "furious". Kimberley Vlaminck had insisted she dozed off after asking the tattooist for just three small stars – then woke in horror to find her face was covered.
The Belgian blamed the Flemish-speaking tattooist for not being able to understand her French and English instructions.
Amid a frenzy of media attention, she then said she would sue the tattoo artist, Rouslan Toumaniantz, for the £9,000 she needed for laser surgery to have them removed. She said after the tattooing last week: "It is terrible for me. I cannot go out on to the street. I look like a freak."
But the 18-year-old has finally confessed she did not fall asleep, that she wanted all the stars and was "fully aware" of what Mr Toumaniantz was doing. Ms Vlaminck told a Dutch TV crew: "I asked for 56 stars and initially adored them. But when my father saw them, he was furious. So I said I fell asleep and the that the tattooist made a mistake."
Mr Toumaniantz – himself covered from head to foot in tattoos and piercings – had consistently denied he had made a mistake and always insisted Vlaminck wanted all 56 stars. He said at the time: "I maintain that she absolutely agreed that I tattoo those 56 stars on the left side of her face." But despite insisting she had asked for 56 stars, he still initially agreed to pay for half of the treatment to remove the tattoos. "Kimberley is unhappy and it is not my wish to have an unsatisfied client," he said. "I don't regret it. To tell you the truth, this has given me some publicity." Mr Toumanaintz is now said to have withdrawn his cash offer and said from now on he will get written consent from clients before he begins tattooing. - June 2009
DE WILLEM II-GEVANGENIS IN TILBURG
The Netherlands and Belgium have agreed under which conditions Belgium prisoners will serve their sentence in a prison facility in Tilburg (The Netherlands).
Nebahat Albayrak, the minister of justice of the Netherlands along with the Belgium minister of justice Steffan De Clerck reached a deal that as from next year a minimum of 500 convicted Belgiums will be incarcerated in the prison facility at Tilburg.
These prisoners are subject to Belgium judicial rights and under the responsibility of the Belgium authorities.
The Belgium governement will pay a yearly fee of 30 million Euros for the placing of these prisoners in The Netherlands. They agreed that the Belgiums will use the prison facility at Tilburg for 3 years and they can prolong this period for another year.
Albayrak called the cooperation with the Belgiums unique in the world.
Last year The Netherlands had to close 8 prison facilities due to lack of prisoners.
While Belgium has a shortage of room ,so badly that if you're convicted to a prison sentence less than 6 months they wont incarcerate you and give you only house arrest. - July 2009
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NO SEX PLEASE, WE'RE BELGIAN
Senator Marleen Temmerman called for the partners of Belgian politicians to go on a sex strike until a government is formed. Temmerman, a gynaecologist by profession, said by abstaining from sex the “palaver” of coalition forming would be solved quite quickly, as she had witnessed during a similar strike in Kenya in 2009. “Have no more sex until the new administration is posing on the steps of the Palace,” she said.
HUMOR
A Belgium with a very old car drives through the red traffic light .
The cops spot him and say to him "that's $50" - "Sold " says the Belgium.
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Een Belg staat in Amerika voor het Witte Huis. Ineens stapt er een man op hem toe, doet zijn jasje open en zegt: 'FBI'. De Belg doet
ook zijn jasje open en zegt: 'Zuiver scheerwol.
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American dream : YES WE CAN...!
Belgium dream: YES WEEK END!
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Komen drie Nederlanders bij het politiebureau. zeggen ze "wij zijn onze Belgische vriend kwijt" vraagt de agent "hoe ziet hij eruit?" Zeggen die Nederlanders "hij heeft zwart haar." Zegt de agent "dat heeft iedereen hier." zegt een van de Nederlanders "Hij heeft drie lullen". zegt de agent "daar hebben we wel wat aan, maar hoe weet je dat hij drie lullen heeft". "nou," zegt de Nederlander, "toen we vanmorgen in het hotel aankwamen zij de ober, "hee daar heb je die Belg met die drie lullen"
NAKED IN ARLON
Six women found themselves in the dock for taking part in naked photo shoots around the centre of Arlon. The six, aged between 20 and 40, had taken part in a sanctioned nudist walk – or randonnue – in Florenville earlier the same day. The women claimed to have been duped by the organiser and paid up to €250 to participate in the shoot. The prosecutor angled for a three-month suspended sentence, but the verdict will only be announced next month. - Feb 2011
BELGIAN SPERM DONORS NEED ONLY APPLY
Belgian fertilisation centres are short of sperm because they no longer accept donors from foreign centres. New legislation prohibits more than six women to be fertilised with the same sperm, a limitation that is difficult to verify with sperm sent from abroad. Until recently, most donations originated from Denmark. - Jan 2011
YOUR TENT OR MINE?
Tentsletje, or a loose festival-going girl, is the new word of 2010 in Flanders, announced Van Dale publishers. The word caught the imagination of one quarter of the 20,000 people surveyed online. The runners-up were pedopriester, a paedophile priest, and ontdopen, to be de-baptised. Party on! - Dec 2010
"I'm half-Irish, half-Dutch, and I was born in Belgium. If I was a dog, I'd be in a hell of a mess!" - AUDREY HEPBURN
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HUMOR
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